Take Me To Post Comment Form Musca's Flyspeck for the Day

Annus Horribilis! We are beset with an endless litany of disasters large and small. Pick up a paper or listen to the news on the radio or the TV ,and you could get the distinct impression that the world to going to hell in a handbasket.Far be it from me to add to the woe.However,I do feel it is my public duty to play Paul Revere and notify sleeping Americans of a crisis that has gone unnnoticed and unremarked.I am referring,of course, to what I choose to call the jiffy crisis.

I feel I'm on safe ground when I say that most people have heard expressions like,"I'll be with you in a jiffy," or " I can fix it in a jiffy." or " It'll be done in a jiffy." But what is a jiffy anyway? Does your jiffy correspond to my jiffy? What if your jiffy is ten times my jiffy? Twenty times? Thirty times? Think of the aggravation and the angst. Your typical A personality heart attack candidate could get a fit of the vapors with positively no effort at all. All of this this is quite unnecessary.But a solution is in sight.All we have to do is define jiffyness.A standardized jiffy could do wonders.

Zombies: Since you are in the waiting room of eternity,a jiffy,a day, a month or a year doesn't matter much anyway.

Nonzombies: May I enlist your help? How much time is a jiffy? Let's put it to a vote.

Next week I'd like to clear up gonna and fixin'.

Musca Domestica,concerned fly and citizen