Take Me To Post Comment Form I visited my friend Mary Carol (MC) this holiday week, driving to her home in central North Carolina. We worked together at the Lexington (NC) Public Library many years ago. At the time (1980), MC’s daughter, April, was in my pre-school story hour at the library. Today, she and her husband are the parents of two delightful children -- Gavin and Madeline. Gavin is going to kindergarten this year and both MC and April are certain they are going to cry the day he starts school.

Time has run off with us! MC and I have seen each other about once a year for about twenty-six years. Sometimes she would come to Tennessee or I would go to North Carolina. When I moved to Georgia, she stopped by on her way to a meeting on St. Simons. For the next ten years, we met half way -- sometimes in the mountains and other times at the beach. We would stay up talking as long as we could in order to catch up on what had happened to the other and to our families.

The past few years, things changed. MC’s husband retired in 2004 with a plan to do some consulting work. Then, at 56, he was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma and his doctors discovered two brain tumors that required immediate removal. There are no words to describe the turmoil and drama of those months and while Barry survived the assault on his body, he can no longer work. He retains that teasing, testy sense of humor, but the surgeries and subsequent treatments have taken a toll on his overall health. He is not the robust, golf playing, car washing, grass-cutting spouse he used to be. His activities have been decidedly reduced. Not long ago he gave up the idea of ever golfing again and gave away his clubs. Every morning, this decorated Viet-Nam veteran drives to Biscuitville and orders a steak biscuit with two mustards and a Mountain Dew. His life and MC’s life have changed.

My recent visit gave me the opportunity to reflect on the meaning of friendship and the passage of time. I am beginning to understand the importance of such relationships and realize how significant it is to share your life with others. Individuals cannot sustain many long-term friendships, but sometimes friendships defy reason and stand the test of time and distance. Friends can fall away in a whisper or make dramatic exits. Over the years, I have found it difficult to predict which ones will thrive and which will falter.

However, I have come to understand the value of connectedness and appreciate the value of a friend. I have had the privilege of sharing my life with MC and her family for many years and been enriched by it. I expect that she and I will bungle through the future, just as we have the past, content with a place in each other’s lives. While our visits are infrequent, they have been healing and invigorating. We have shared the passages of our lives. “We cannot live for ourselves alone, wrote Herman Melville. “A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow man. The fiber of my friendship with MC has become an intricate network in twenty-eight years. I believe it will continue to develop a finer mesh and even strengthen in the years ahead.