"Ornamentally Challenged"

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"It ain't been the best'a nights.
I was'a piddlin' here just'a while ago
lookin' at my purdy Christmas lights.

an' sing'n to some Christmas country ho-ho-ho
Suddenly I gotta notion, jumped up an' spilt my beer;
I mean my eggnog I had sit'n on my cooler right here.

It was in all that commotion 'an motions
when that notion came on back to me.
I'm think'n I got hungry while fancy'n up my tree

an' Zeus, he was want'n his, "I pooped for 'ya" snack.
Here I was with a purdy 'ormanent' in my hand
try'n to decor the tree when the EGGNOG must'a got the best'a me!

I nuked the ormament and ate the "I pooped for 'ya snack"
an' 'bout time I got it swallered Zeus let out a holler!
The nuker was spark'n! The whole place was lit all up
then took out my Christmas tree an' smoked a couple rugs!

But..Heyyyy! Good things abound! I didn't have much hair
so the loss of what I had ain't so much more 'ta bare
and good ole' Zeus was runnin' round peein' all over ever'thin'
in all the commotion so it was a 'lil' bit'a loss an' the bars still open!"

Teapotter, "Off the Cuff"

Latest Activity: Nov 27, 2017 at 10:20 PM

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