Passin , first and foremost I want to express my deepest sorrow for what your wife as well as you are going through. I know that we disagree on the matter of God and this is not related to Hollis article bc. I did not read it. i want to , with the upmost huumbleness , say that God is a God of love and wrath. its because of our sins that we experience the wrath of God. unfortunately most preachers today want to pat their congregations in the church on the back rather than preach sin out of the church. now, by no means am I saying that your wife is suffering thru this terrible disease because of sin. I do not dare try and judge, though I am human. what I am saying is Gods word says in John 14:13-14 and Mark 11:24 that whatever you ask in the fathers name, Jesus Christ, and blessing, He will give it to you. your wife prays, to me, that would mean she has faith. however, Gods blessing can be bound when their is a lack of faith. would it be safe to say that you lack qthe faith? this can hinder miracles blessings etc. please by no means, I am not blaming you for your wife terrible ordeal I'm just trying to offer insight . also. in Ecclesiastes 9:11 God tells us that time and chance happens to us all. this meaning life happens, good or bad. if life dealt you a bad hand, this is where faith and prayer. comes in. God also tells us that. some things are only obtained through prayer and fasting. Sorry we fAce trials and tests in life, sure. is it because God is merciless and sick and twisted, most certainly not. is it to test our faith, to refine us through the fire, to get all of us to seek his face, yes. is it because life happens ,yes. I do know that it is not Gods will that any should perish. I did not respond to offend, just to try and offer hope and love. do you mind messaging me your wife and your first name I would like to pray for you. I will either way. God bless.

Passin', I am sorry about your wife. I believe it is not ours to understand all God does and like the column said, both good and evil exist in this world. I will pray for your wife and that your soul will be eased. Honestly, I feel for you and your family. I am a cancer survivor, my grandparents are both cancer survivors, my paternal grandmother died from the disease and have another close relative suffering from cancer. If you are not aware, I am Holli.

Dear Passinthru...I;mnm so sorry to hear your wife's diagnosis. so many of us have family members who have walked the same path and it is never an easy one.

My mom fought a hard battle with cancer and lost that battle in 2007. But one thing stood out for me and many others who knew her. Her faith never wavered. In fact, her faith grew stronger during her battle with a dreaded disease.

God never promised us a life of ease, and He never promised we would not be sick or sad, hurt, or anything else for that matter. What He did promise is that He would be with us through it all.

The fact is, we live in a flawed world. WE all will die...some day. At some point in life hopefully we come to place where we trust the Lord - even when things don't make sense. this is difficult for everyone...even those who are strong in faith.

I also think if you asked Holli face to face, she would tell you that God has not answered every prayer exactly the way she would have wanted Him to. But what we find so often is that He is right there with us to walk beside us and hold us up when we just cannot sdo it ourselves.

I will add your wife to my daily prayers, and I mean that with the utmost sincerity. May the Lord show Himself to you vividly as you both walk this journey together.

Susan. sometimes the answer is "no," "not right now" or "I have something else planned for you." I believe there are reasons our faith is tested, and my heart goes out to Passin' and his wife.

Passinthru There is NO God; we are destined to make it on our own in this world. I commend you for your love of your wife and for being there for her but know you are her rock because God does not exist! Having said that attacking those who choose to believe seems a bit ridiculous to me please don’t turn your anger and disappointment at a mythical being towards real people who I am sure meant you or your wife no harm.

A person either believes in God and credits her with everything good and evil in the world. Or, a person does not believe in God and credits nature, physics, or luck, with everything good and bad in the world.

Either way, bad things and good things continue to happen and always will. Whatever gets you through is good.

Passin, my heartfelt sympathy.

What being CREATED nature, physics, luck, you, me, the world, etc? What higher power started it all? And who/what created THAT higher power? It is all beyond our understanding and imagination, and either we become bitter and angry at something in which we claim to not believe, or we trust and have faith there is a higher power that cares for and looks after us. My experiences in the works of God have been way too constant to be coincidental. And, I never intend to be smug about anything. What I say/write comes from my heart and I do not expect everyone to agree or even like it.

Passinthru, Charlie.

I want to echo the other commentors in expressing my sympathy. My mother passed in 2001 from a cancer. It was not especially painful to her, but neither was it pleasant.

Personally, I found some comfort and understanding in John Donne's Meditation #17 - no man is an island, for whom the bell tolls - etc. There is a lot of good stuff in there. I also found some comfort in the way JRR Tolkien approaches death in the Lord of the Rings.

I am a Christian to be sure, but these non-Biblical references may be of some help to you.

I wish you and your wife the best.

Everyone, many thanks for your surprisingly considerate comments and prayers.

I did not blog this in order to gain sympathy for my family problems; I know that we are by no means unique in this respect. I guess Holli’s column caught me in an unguarded moment, resulting in a knee jerk reaction to what I saw as yet another “the world is all sunshine and wonder if you have faith” lecture. I felt obliged to add some critical balance. Sorry, watchdog, but I feel sure that as a journalist it is not unusual, nor even necessarily bad, to have a published opinion criticized.

The reality is that things are going O.K. for my wife Donna and me. She is the most positive, brave and strong person I have known, with a sense of humor that just won’t back off, so my job is made pretty easy. We are optimistic that an upcoming therapy will have positive effects, so the future looks promising.

In particular, holyrollin, I know we have, in the past, had many mutually respectful skirmishes in the muddy waters of religious belief so I really appreciate the thoughts behind your comments. I would be happy to take you up on your offer, prayers or positive thoughts can do nothing but good.

Strange you should mention John Donne, Charlie, he and his works have haunted me throughout life, from hating the guy when in school to gaining an appreciation of his amazing life and the philosophies developed by it, during my middle years to nowadays referring to him when stymied by some moral dilemma. His thoughts on God and religion, although they were modified by his life experiences, are as valid as any today. Thanks.

Passinthru, Charlie.

We are all human, with the same joys and sorrows as the next guy. If nothing else, most people of faith, whether you agree or disagree, will extend a compassionate hand to those who struggle.

Glad to hear your wife has a positive outlook and a good sense of humor. Those will be essential in her successful treatment.

Truth is, the world is not "...all sunshine and wonder if you have faith.” It is hard and messy and tragic and unfair. Faith is the hope that all of that leads toward some goodness. Read the meditation - to me, Donne illustrates faith and a keen understanding of God's plan.

I wish y'all the best of luck and peace.

"prayers or positive thoughts can do nothing but good"...finally, something we agree on Passinthru. You and Mrs Donna are in both!

Passin' no offense taken, and yes, disagreement and criticism is common and expected. I understand your knee-jerk reaction.
My life is far from all sunshine and happiness- and seeking the peace and reward of God's love works for me. Many times my prayers have been answered in ways I did not like or understand. While I'd like others to experience what I have felt, I know just because I feel and believe does not mean everyone else has to, too.

I loved everyone of the posts here! This showed a coming together and talking throu open communicaiton. My hat is off and AMEN!